As long are there the Glenn Becks, the Sean Hannitys, the Rush Limbaughs, the Lou Dobbs of the world, there will never be any shortage of rubes, lemmings, fellow travelers and other complete imbeciles will follow them to the end of their collective drools.
If ever there was a completely insane, blithering issue polluting the landscape of social discourse in this country it is this groveling movement afoot arguing Preisdent Barack Obama holds his office illegally because he is not a citizen of the United States.
Sigh.
They are called “Birthers,” who persist in holding onto the notion Obama is not a legitmate citizen of the nation despite voluminous evidence to the contrary. Obama’s 1961 Hawaiian birth certificate is a matter of public record. Hawaiian state government officials have repeatedly vouched for the legality of the birth record.
And indeed, there is even a public notice of Obama’s birth in Hawaii, which was printed in the local papers within a day the bi-racial bouncing bundle of joy entered the world.
Part of the delusional Birther argument against Obama’s right to hold office is grounded in the notion his father was indeed a Kenyan citizen when his son was born. But that is irrelevant since the future president: A) was born in the United States and B) his mother was a U.S. citizen, thus confering American citizenship on the newborn infant.
And yet, these wackos continue their subterranean crusade, which is predicated on utter balderdash, with a pinch of claptrap and a smidgen of hooey.
So why does this idiocy continue to have life?
The reasons are two-fold. First, as Press Secretary Ronbert Gibbs noted the other day, anyone can register an Internet address and promulgate any blather they want. And yes, I’ll save some of you the trouble, that is exactly what I have done as well.
Secondly, the Birther debate allows those who simply don’t like Obama because of his race a thinly veiled issue to provide cover from the obvious charge of racism at play here.
And of course, there is the whole right-wing Old Yeller-Foaming-At-The Mouth-Drive-By-Bloviator cabal, who have found a red meat issue for their dumber-than-an-anvil followers to latch onto.
As long as there is an Internet, as long as there are faux conservative blubberers, as long as there are people who barely have a functioning brain stem, movements like the Birthers will always exist.
After all, there are people who believe Elvis is alive. There are people who believe man never landed on the Moon. There are people who believe the sun revolves around the Earth. There are people who believe 9/11 was really the handiwork of the U.S. government. There are people who believe all manner of urban myths – simply because some other dope sent them an e-mail.
And these people drive. And they own guns, too! How scary is that?
There is no evidence that will convince the Birthers Barack Obama holds his office legally. None. Zippo. Nada. They are stooges who make Moe, Larry and Curly look like Nobel laureates.
Some of these Birther bozos claim they puraue this fool’s errand, because they want “their country back.”
Well, they are more than welcome to immigrate back the Planet Zircon 9 whenever they ant. Have a nice trip.
Barack Hussein Obama was born on August 4, 1961 in the state of Hawaii. That was the week the Berlin Wall went up.
Coincidence? I wonder.
This evil, subversive plot has been in the making for damned near forty-eight years! By all evidence, since the moment of Obama’s birth! Here is a question that all good and decent Americans should demand an immediate answer to: Was the newspaper, the Honolulu Advertiser, in on the scheme when they printed little Barack’s bogus birth announcement on August 9, 1961? Just where the hell does that paper lean editorially? To the hard Left, I strongly suspect. Wouldn’t that just figure!
The NAACP, in coercion with the American Communist Party, Democracy NOW and Ed Asner, concocted this evil plot deep in the basement of Norm Chomskey’s home in Cambridge, Massachusetts in the midst of a week-long peyote mushroom binge. The elevation of this dangerous and subversive man to the highest office in this grand and glorious land of ours is only the first step in their dastardly plan. Their next objective will be to force our daughters – our little personifications of patriotism and purity – to court and co-mingle with NEGROES.
Before very long our children – your children – will be physically forced to memorize whole chapters of James Baldwin’s “Native Son” and “The Autobiography Of Malcolm X”. Trust me, it’s only a matter of time.
They must be stopped. Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the country that we all hold so dear to our freedom-loving hearts. America is falling; victimized by forces who would put a foreign-born A-Rab in the seat that was once held by the sainted Ronald Reagan – RONALD REAGAN, I TELL YOU!
My friends, now is not the time for the faint-of-heart. It a time for boldness and stoutness of mind and spirit. Only our collective intestinal fortitude will defeat the Liberal cabal – those nattering nabobs of negativism – who would burn our beloved country down. The time has come to give America back to the real Americans. My fellow citizens, you ignore me at your own peril….
And one more thing we must never ever forget: Barack and Michelle Obama named their two daughters, “Sasha” and “Malia”. What’s that all about?
Of course, what you just read is meant as satire. Only a complete and utter fool could possibly take any of it seriously. The really disturbing thing, however, is the fact that there are millions of people out there who would read those last eight paragraphs and wouldn’t even come close to getting the joke. While there is plenty of satirical gold to be siphoned from the bottomless mine that these lunatics have provided us with, they have created a dangerous atmosphere that is enabling the nuttiest angels of the American nature. That is something that would do us all well to think about.
http://www.tomdegan.blogspot.com
Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
Tom: long before I realized you were being sarcastic, (ie: before I got to the 2nd paragraph), this:
“Barack Hussein Obama was born on August 4, 1961 in the state of Hawaii. That was the week the Berlin Wall went up.
Coincidence? I wonder.”
…made me laugh. Hard. Thanks.
Sir Ruth: SO happy I found this blog. I’ve missed your column terribly. Keep rockin’ the internet!